Fashions and Relations

While it seemed like a busy period at the time, only a couple items jumped out last week as journal-worthy, so this will mostly be a contemplative entry. Still, a couple entertaining bits first.

Thursday I went to Plan B, and realizing it would be my one opportunity that week to let it all hang out, I decided to adorn myself with a fedora hat, some eyeliner, those red pants we all love, and really have fun. Code for starting early on the drink and not letting up. Upon arriving at the club I was quite chipper, being with the boy along with the usual suspects. About 30 to 60 minutes into our stay, the female bouncer approached me to divulge the heart-shattering news: as of that afternoon, they no longer allowed hats.   :D    I asked why the front door bouncer said nothing of this when I first came, to which she said that some of the staff might not know yet  :D  Quickly adding, however, that a facebook status had been made to let everyone know.…… incompetence at its finest. Add my inebriation to the equation and I was pleased as punch, I dare say. Then I came home and threw up some before bed. So a typical evening at Plan B lol minus the vomit, something had to happen right?

Saturday night into Monday night I paid a visit to the familia in New Berlin, which I was looking forward to for a number of reasons. I missed the dog, moderately missed the parents and brother, but mostly wanting to see the Super Bowl with them, as I knew it’d be an experience not to be outdone. I wasn’t disappointed when the rest of the guests arrived, 7 people all told. Such delectable hors d’oeuvres as crackers with melted Kraft cheese, fruit chunks, and caramel popcorn could be enjoyed at leisure. Red carpet fashions included plus-sized faded jerseys and sweaters with matching stained Nautical jeans. But the true ambience really set in after the first kick off, when an incessant stream of curses and various unintelligible words issued forth at an increasingly loud volume, room for breath available only at commercials. This was all to be expected though, and I wouldn’t have missed it.

Despite these few distractions, my thoughts over the past week have invariably drifted back to Nick, “the boy.” Things are continuing to go very well, to my great surprise. One day he came over and cooked a lovely little meal of seasoned salmon and red potatoes with some salad, enjoyed with two bottles of wine and the entirety of Kylie Minogue’s X Tour DVD (someone we both love!). It was perfect. A day later, the day of the Plan B trip in fact, Nick came over beforehand and proceeded to gab with mostly my roommate for 2 hours. I was there too of course, but after realizing how well they were hitting it off I wanted to encourage it. For her, the woman who hates nearly all people lol, men in particular :) to get along with someone so well right off the bat is almost unheard of. It really hit me that this is guy is someone I could be with.

Which got me thinking about something we don’t often deal with as gays. The interesting and somewhat jarring transition from being single to being with someone. And I don’t mean those transient week or month long bullshit relationships we gays love to have, breaking up and getting back together as often as we get a paycheck, or some form of open relationship where there are no rules. I mean fully single to full blown, real, long term relationship. It’s really not the easiest thing. Being single, hey you can do whatever the hell you want, when where and with whom you want, without anyone having to know, without needing approval, without worrying. Not to refer only to sleeping around either; there’s a wide world of fun to be had whether it’s in front of the TV, or seeing a movie with the bestie, or having a drink with the roommate, or traveling to New York for shopping and a concert, or going out with Mr. Right-for-the-Night, and you don’t have to answer for any of it. But now we switch to having a boyfriend; a wonderful thing by all accounts, but there’s a small price.

I pause here to say that these are just off the top of my head, and are not actual problems in my own budding relationship yet. Just theoretical and entertaining. Assuming you actually care for and trust the guy, now there’s someone to worry about – their safety, mental and emotional health. He in turn is worrying about you, and therefore checking in now and then is needed. Until he’s fully integrated into the group of friends, and even after, you sometimes have to make plans with them to the exclusion of friends. You have to still see your friends as much as you did so they don’t get miffed, but in turn you may upset the bf if he wants to get together. Another b-day and Christmas gift, and they better be thoughtful lol. His two cents will be thrown in even on topics not affecting him. He may not want you talking about other guys or looking at them, in person and online, restricting you again (thankfully Nick couldn’t care less on that point). Basically it’s another person in your life floating between friends and family in importance, trying not to get in the way, but unavoidably does, while at the same time filling the holes you’ve been missing. Literally and figuratively :)

Of course, of all the problems in the world to have, the downsides of having a bf are pretty good ones to deal with. And again I’m very happy with Nick so far, more so than I planned on. But even this week, and somewhat last week, I found myself battling having some alone time, with seeing friends as usual, with seeing Nick, with doing whatever errands/projects etc I have after work… and each time something had to give, someone (even if it was just me) had to be disappointed, which is an adjustment to be dealt with I guess. I know from past longer relationships that as time goes on, the bf is absorbed into the group as mentioned, which helps a lot of the scheduling conflict issues. But the having to think about someone else’s needs, fears, health, future…that never fades. We’ll see how the saga continues :) Between seeing Nick tonight, some old friends tomorrow, one or two club outings, and a special middle finger to Valentine’s Day night lol, should be a fabulous week ahead!